Beauty and the Baritone Read online

  He opened his mouth to speak and she felt shame in a way she hadn’t before. She turned away and ran toward the house.

  *** *** ***

  Her bedroom looked like she’d never been in it. The unmade bed she left was made, its bedspread a bright flag flown over her sloppiness. Her clothes that had been strewn about the room were folded and sat on the bench at the edge of the bed. Her electronics were gathered and neatly placed on the night table.

  It would be easy to leave. She dragged her suitcase from the closet and threw it on the bed. Somebody had unpacked everything and whereas it felt like luxury when she’d first discovered it, it felt like another embarrassing bearing of her soul now that she felt weak.

  This was how they operated, those men with the power. They never took what you offered but rather took pieces of you that you couldn’t bear to lose.

  “I did not think that you would run.”

  His voice made her jump, she hadn’t heard his approach. She didn’t want to face him, didn’t want him to see her out of control.

  “So the truth is of a different stripe, si? That your wish is to control and what you cannot, you run away from?”

  “You don’t know anything about me.” She turned to him, knowing her skin would be red and mottled, that she would look as ugly as she felt. Let him see her as she truly was. He would discover what a beast she truly was.

  “I know much.” He nodded at the bed. “I must sit. I walked quickly to catch you and it causes an ache.”

  She took her suitcase and placed it on the ground. Mateo sank onto the bed where her case had been. His fingers dug into the sore muscle and his face tightened in pain.

  She wanted to sink on the floor and beg forgiveness. It was humiliating in the worst way. All it would take was one wrong word and she would shatter to never be whole again.

  “You are not as bad as you think,” Mateo said, his attention on his leg. “You are right that you are never going to be a star but you have the solids foundation. If you are willing, you will be a singer for many years.”

  “I have been a singer,” she said, ashamed of the tremor in her voice. “I’m now an unemployed singer.”

  “You do not do the necessary work, do not deny it.” He looked up and matched her gaze. “You get the job and then do the laziness. It is in your voice. If you had the desire, you could make yourself more.”

  “Gene said I was a mediocre singer with a pretty face. Even David said that.”

  “And these are men that show you respect? No. This is your problem. You have said you like the men who use you but you are not separating in what ways you are used.”

  “You don’t understand.”

  “You think not? I think that maybe you have the story and the lie but the truth is missing. You do the hiding because you are afraid you might be better than you want to be. Take off your clothes.”

  “I don’t think I want to.”

  “I am not asking what you want. I am telling you.”

  She was shaking. It was a tremble that came from deep inside. He was daring her to face her own lie: that she enjoyed debasement. What was the truth? It scared her more that a man of such notorious talent said she had ability than other men telling her she was nothing more than a great fuck.

  It hurt. Having her lies taken away was more humiliating than anything another man had asked of her.

  Her fingers were unsteady as she pulled her clothes off. Her skin was cold, her bones felt brittle. He could break her if he wished and she wouldn’t be able to stop him.

  Her clothes piled on the floor and she stood naked and shivering.

  He reached his hands out and took her hands. She was pulled to the bed, sitting next to Mateo.

  “You have let too many people into your head,” Mateo said quietly. “You must chase them out.”

  “How are you the man to give advice?”

  “Ah Carolina.” The back of his fingers skimmed her cheek. “There are many things I know. I might not always know the best for myself but I know the best for you.”

  It was wrong. Nobody knew what was best for her except her. But his hand continued moving to cup her breast and play with her nipple, bringing it to a hard peak despite the dissention in her head.

  She could learn to hate her body, its eager betrayal. His touch opened her, unfurled the sigh under her skin.

  He touched her gently, touched her in a way she hated. She wanted to be taken, to be forced to open herself. She needed a touch that demanded, not one that coaxed. If permission was to be asked then it would be denied. She wanted to be disregarded.

  He refused her all she wanted as he trailed fingertips whisper soft over her. He blew on her and she fell, he whispered and her body tightened.

  She cried out when his mouth touched her. If there was any act that seemed depraved to her, it was the one he did to her. To be so opened to a man, to be tasted and teased, to be the focus of his desire was too difficult to bear.

  She twisted but he caught her thighs in his hands and held her still. He didn’t bother to look at her face or even beyond the juncture of her thighs. She wanted to hide her face, not let him ever see her or her embarrassment.

  He’d discover quickly what little this act did for her. Carolyn laid her arm over her face, hiding her eyes. She would lay still, stone cold until he stopped, his mouth wetting her and his fingers delving for sensation they’d never find. She wasn’t built that way.

  It humiliated her to be like this. If he used her, if he tried to shame her, there would be nothing but pleasure. He should be able to see that, she thought. He should see how little she enjoyed what he did.

  She couldn’t believe he remained unaware of her coldness. His tongue continued to lick, his mouth continued to move. His fingers delved inside and touched, seeking that place where she would jolt and find her pleasure.

  Mateo was aware.

  Never had he been with a woman who remained so closed, so unable to feel. She was a fighter, there was no question, but it seemed that she fought herself more than she fought the world.

  Her body was fighting also. He knew how to bring a woman bliss but she fought the feelings. She twisted under his mouth, moved away from his fingers.

  He didn’t believe her any more. She came into his life saying she wanted, no she needed, to be treated with disdain but the truth was slipperier than that. She wanted to be used but only if it matched some story she had scripted in her head.

  He should have just let her go but for the first time in a long time he felt challenged. No doubt David sent Carolyn to him for sexual fun but there was so much more to her than that. There was so much more to how he felt when he was with her.

  He pushed his fingers up to caress higher inside her and she moved suddenly. It was what he sought. There was feeling inside her, joy to be found and had.

  It was just like Carolyn to be the kind of woman whose stimulation would be hard to reach. High and long. He almost chuckled. His fingers returned to the spot and stroked over it as he licked her clit with a flattened tongue.

  She spread her legs farther, excitement finally blossoming inside her. Mateo suckled her clit, his own enjoyment growing as she stopped fighting and opened herself to him.

  He suckled and stroked, pressed with tongue and fingers until she cried out and shuddered under him.

  It was better than he imagined.

  *** *** ***

  The bed moved under his weight as he shifted onto his back.

  “You are not being good for my aches.” His voice was rich with humor and satisfaction.

  Carolyn shifted away from his body. There was nothing to cover herself with; her suitcase was on the floor. Unthinking her hand covered her pubis.

  “I think it’s best if I travel on to Germany early,” she said. “There’s no question I’m not doing you any good. As you just said.”

  “I think you are wrong. And you are running. Do you often run away, Carolina?” He turned to his side to look at her. “You
are the complicated one, I think.”

  “I’m not complicated, I’m very basic.” She sat and turned away from him. “I have other things I should be doing. Places I should go.”

  “And two days ago you said you had no place to be. I think you are running from me just as I am starting to fall under your charms.”

  He sounded too happy and she didn’t like it. There was a burning in her gut, it was uncomfortable and she wanted to move, to move quickly.

  “I have no charms,” she muttered getting off the bed and kneeling by her suitcase. She grabbed a simple dress and quickly shimmied it down her body.

  “So you will run then?”

  “I need to leave.”

  “Then you will not stay to hear my proposition?”

  She’d turned to collect her things from the bathroom but is words interested her. She slowly turned toward him and wanted to curse the sight. He was still dressed, laying on his side and looking so damned happy she wanted to scratch his eyes out.

  His cock was pressing his trousers, his free hand was near it but not touching. The liveliness in his eyes and on his face was stunning. It was the happiest she’d seen him.

  “What proposition?”

  “You have little time until you audition for Hamburg, si? And you wish the employment? I will mentor you starting today. You will have the master’s class from a famous baritone and in return I will have you to enjoy as I wish.”

  Her heart was beating so strongly it was almost painful. She’d offered herself to him but now he wanted to choose how he’d take her. And she knew, she understood, that he wouldn’t treat her disrespectfully and that wasn’t what she had come seeking.

  On the other hand, his voice was legend and to be his student even if it was only for such a short time, would be a gift unparalleled.

  “A rock and a hard place,” Carolyn said.

  “Indeed,” Mateo agreed.

  If David was a demon then this man was the devil himself. His offer was a sure fall from comfort, a complete end to all she knew and a beginning to a place she wasn’t sure she could go.

  “I agree.” She was destined to discover a new version of hell.

  *** *** ***

  “You have no confidence, Carolina.”

  He was sprawled in a chair in the library, his bad leg fully extended. He was relaxed. There was a blandness to his features that she didn’t trust. He was many things and all of them dangerous. This easy going Mateo was not a reality she trusted.

  “Not in front of you.” She looked down at her feet. “I feel too raw doing this.”

  “But I do not scare you. I’m just a broken man.”

  She gasped a laugh. “That’s your mask, isn’t it?”

  “I wear no mask.”

  “Not the truth, Senor, is it?” She cocked her hip and instantly was the seductress. “I believe your masks are as varied as mine.”

  “So you admit. This is delightful.” He leaned forward, his face lit with humor. Carolyn was surprised to recognize that not only was this the happiest she might have ever seen Mateo, but he also looked less the beast at that moment and more the brilliant baritone.

  “I should probably admit nothing when near you.”

  “Ah Carolina, this is where it begins. When we say we have the masks then we have the opportunity to strip them away. And what will we see?”

  She had no answer. He seemed quite happy with that.

  *** *** ***

  They drank. There had been wine at dinner and after, there was brandy in the library. When Simon brought coffee, Mateo liberally added whiskey into the mugs.

  Carolyn felt unsteady. There was a change between them; Mateo didn’t have his sullen self on. There was an ease in him that set her on edge.

  It made no sense that a content Mateo created a chaotic Carolyn. But it did. She was edgy; agitated in different ways. Her legs wobbled, her pussy clenched, her breasts were tight. Her breathing, which Mateo had told her, was too shallow, caught in her lungs.

  He was restless, and it made her even more uneasy. The alcohol was making everything slow motion and jerky.

  “Come to me,” he said and she started. He was sitting on the leather chair where he’d sat while she sang but this time he wasn’t casual and unfurled, but rather upright and tight. His shoulders were soldier straight and his hand outstretched toward her.

  She hesitated but took an uncertain step to him. His hand closed over hers and she was pulled down to his lap.

  “What game shall we play tonight?” he asked. His voice was low. “Do you want to sing for me and I can punish you across my lap after? Would you like to be the bad student to the dirty professor? Or shall I treat you as an innocent virgin and run my hand up your leg, like so? Will you squirm away?”

  She almost did and stopped at his words. He was getting in her head and she didn’t like it. She had no control over him, there was nothing he didn’t seem able to see through.

  She could play the game too.

  “I like that game,” Carolyn said, “but maybe even more, the school girl who’s the seductress. Would you like me to seduce you, Senor?”

  “But you have been, Carolina.” He sounded amused.

  It was hard to coordinate her limbs, the alcohol making her muddy. But she was able to turn and straddle his lap.

  “You haven’t seen what I can do,” she bragged. She was going to show him what she was made of, show him that her games were more effective than his.

  She fumbled the buttons on his shirt, opening only the top buttons. That was enough. She put her hand down his shirt and felt his chest, her fingers skimming over scar and chest hair. He was so warm and hard. His skin was a path from soft and downy to hard and corded. There were puckers formed by scars and the tiny nubs of his nipples.

  He felt like no one else. He sounded, tasted, acted like no man before him. He made her falter when she had been so sure.

  Her hand stilled and she looked up into his face.

  The handsome man from the photos was still in the face looking back at her. The aristocratic nose, the dark eyebrows, the warm hazel eyes. His hand hooked the back of her head and he brought her face down.

  “I will meet you Carolina, the half way. Does that sound acceptable?”

  He didn’t give her a chance to answer, his mouth covered hers.

  It wasn’t lost on her that this was their first kiss. The first time their lips met and parted. The first time their breath mingled. The first time she felt tenderness melt the exterior of her heart.

  She would have pulled away but his hand was strong on her neck, holding her to him.

  His tongue slipped past her lips and tasted her mouth. It was an intrusion she wanted to protest. She didn’t want his kiss. She didn’t want any semblance of romance or care. She didn’t want to feel the soft, the sweet press of his lips on hers.

  Her body pressed into his and he kept one hand cupping her head while the other wandered from her back to her butt and then back again.

  When his mouth released hers, Carolyn was strangely saddened. She felt his cock straining in his trousers, felt the tension in his body yet it was strangely unmoving. His mouth descended once more but his lips skimmed by her mouth and nuzzled the soft skin of her cheek.

  He kissed under her eyes, along her cheekbones. His body was aroused but his kisses were sweet. It was disconcerting. It was something she wanted more of. She needed it to end.

  She reached down and pulled at the zipper of his trousers. He was rock hard. It was hard to coordinate her fingers to release him while he bit her earlobe and kissed down her neck.

  His cock was hot in her hand. “Carolina,” he murmured against her neck.

  “Fuck me,” she answered.

  He helped her lift up and he fit himself to her. She slid over his cock, dropping her head back. It felt good, he was deep in her. He leaned forward and kissed the hollow of her throat.

  “Carolina,” he said again and his tongue tasted her.

&nb
sp; “Mateo,” she said and worked herself hard on his cock.

  *** *** ***

  “You are going to sing well for your audition.”

  Carolyn felt his words warm her inside. It was no longer difficult to sing in front of Mateo. He was helpful, not as autocratic as she assumed he’d be.

  As a teacher he truly wanted her to do well. He was relaxed and easy, very much not the man she’d met only a week and a half before. There was a difference between both, an ease they found together.

  Germany was looming but for the first time, she was beginning to think that perhaps she would be able to do what she wished to and not for the reasons others said. She could sing, she understood that. She heard the difference every day as Mateo helped her craft her confidence.

  “You have always been the singer, Carolina,” he told her. “It was the other voices that you listened to that stopped you. To sing is to believe. To sing is to know that in a moment your voice goes into the world and changes it. You never believed and so you allowed the other voices to silence yours. Now you will refuse to be silenced.”

  She believed him and she sang. She understood, she felt it deep inside and her voice gained tone, her voice began to be true.

  “I’ve never felt it so deeply.”

  They were sitting at dinner, both enjoying the fragrant soup before them.

  “That is what the singing should do, si? It should echo first in your heart and then you can bring it to others. If you do not do the believing, then why would anyone else believe?”

  “You should teach, Mateo. You have an innate ability to bring out the best and make it make sense.”

  He snorted. “Is that the excuse that those who cannot, teach?”

  “Nobody said you can’t.”

  He shook his head. “Nobody would pay money to see me. Not unless they wished the freak show. My days are over.”

  “Was your voice damaged?”